Conquering that bitchy ass voice.
And the best documentary I've seen in AWHILE.
It’s taken me the last 5-ish years to actually take my artwork seriously for myself. Before then I struggled with all the same old questions: am I good enough? Aren’t there enough people out there already doing this? What can I really contribute? Does my work matter? Do I believe in it?
In these last few years I’ve been making more work, sharing it and following my ideas down the rabbit hole to fruition. Was it because I began to take it seriously that I did all that, or by doing all that I now take it seriously? I think it’s both.
But to do that out loud in public?
I do take it seriously in public, for sure, but not at the level I do for myself. Like, for me now, I know how important the work is, how much space it deserves to take up, how much it matters. It’s truth. But now I gotta hold that truth with might while metaphorically standing in the public square and proclaiming things.
I’m working on a new project (shh, soon) and it’s requiring me to do a lot of writing about me and the work. I squirm, and resist, and crawl through writing it.
It’s all the ideas a lot of us learn: don’t be loud, don’t draw attention to yourself, don’t brag, don’t share so much. This voice in my head says, “Wow, you think a lot of yourself.” And logically I know that voice is wrong, but she’s around. Conquering that bitchy ass voice is the current hurdle between where I’m at and where I wanna be.
The good thing is that I see now that taking it seriously for me makes the work prosper. It’s made me a better artist. And it’s encouraging me that if I work at the standing-in-the-square-proclaiming thing there’s great potential for change there too.
Here’s a little triptych painting progress this past month:
holiday commission update!
I am taking holiday commissions up until Dec 15, 2023. After that, commissions will be closed until Fall 2024. Reply to this email if you’d like to work together this season.
things worth sharing
DOCUMENTARY: The Truffle Hunters is one of the best things I’ve seen in awhile. It’s a visually stunning story of the men and their dogs in a small Italian village who hunt the truffles. The cinematography is… just… go watch it. A delight! [here’s the trailer]
VIDEO: Exhibition Tour of Manet/Degas at The Met on YouTube — I love the trend of museums making high quality video content of current exhibitions. And they provide up close shots of the paintings, for those of us who like to stand close and examine details. Next best thing to being there.
QUOTE: “It’s sublime to go into another room and make pictures. It’s magic time, where all your weaknesses of character, the blemishes of your personality, whatever else torments you, fades away, just doesn’t matter.” -Maurice Sendak